No Sex Since 2015

A crusty gunnery sergeant (it might help to imagine R. Lee Ermey from “Full Metal Jacket”) found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, and one of them approached the gunnery sergeant for conversation.

“Excuse me, sergeant,” she said. “You seem to be taking this party very seriously. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative, ma’am,” the gunnery sergeant replied, “Just serious by nature.”

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you’ve seen a lot of action.”

The gunnery sergeant’s short reply was, “That’s affirmative.”

The young lady, tiring of the curt responses she was receiving, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

To this, the gunnery sergeant gave no reply and simply stared at her.

Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when’s the last time you had sex?”

The gunnery sergeant looked at her and replied, “Twenty fifteen.”

She said, “Well, there you go! You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 2015! Isn’t that a little extreme?”

The gunnery sergeant, glancing at his watch, smirked slightly as he replied, “I wouldn’t have thought so. It’s only 2130 now.”