The Insensitive Ventriloquist

(Special thanks to Brother Brian for submitting)

A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of off-color and ‘dumb blonde’ jokes, when a well-dressed blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and shouts, “I’ve heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes, you jerk!

“What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What connection can a person’s hair color possibly have with their fundamental worth as a human being? It’s morons like you that prevent women like myself from being respected at work and in our communities and from reaching our full potential, because you and your Neanderthalian brethren continue to perpetuate negative images against not only blondes, but women in general, for the sake of cheap laughs.

“You are a pathetic, misogynistic relic of the past, and what you do is not only contrary to discrimination laws in every civilized country, it is deeply offensive to people with modern sensibilities and basic respect for their fellow citizens. You should hang your head in shame, you pusillanimous little maggot.”

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, “You stay out of this mister! I’m talking to that little bastard on your knee!”