A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very… “amorous,” and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem: The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of her species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a redneck part-time employee who was responsible for cleaning the animals’ cages. Ed had little sense, but allegedly possessed ample ability to satisfy females, presumably of ANY species.
So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $1,000?
Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.
“First,” he said, “y’all can’t make me kiss that gorilla.”
The park officials agreed.
“Second, y’all can’t never tell nobody about this.”
The park administrators quickly said yes. Then they asked for Ed’s third condition.
Ed stated, “Y’all gotta give me another week to come up with the thousand bucks.”