Joke: Kids’ Views on Marriage

Researchers interviewed several children across the country to get their impressions of dating and marriage. Here are some of the best responses.

** What Exactly Is Marriage? **

“Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents”
-Eric, six years old

“When somebody’s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, ‘I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.’ Then she says yes, but she’s wondering what the thing is and whether it’s naughty or not. She can’t wait to find out.”
-Anita, nine years old

** How Does a Person Decide Whom to Marry? **

“You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one.”
-Kelly, nine years old

“My mother says to look for a man who is kind…. That’s what I’ll do…. I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome.”
-Carolyn, eight years old

** Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married **

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife”
-Bert, five years old

** How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet? **

“They were at a dance party at a friend’s house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down… It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values.”
-Lottie, nine years old

“My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won’t tell me what kind.”
-Jeremy, eight years old

** What Do Most People Do on a Date? **

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”
-Martin, ten years old

“Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love.”
-Craig, nine years old

** When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone? **

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.”
-Allan, ten years old

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you….If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.”
-Kally, nine years old

** The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married? **

“You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan”
-Kirsten, ten years old

“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them”
-Anita, nine years old

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.”
 -Will, seven years old