Things You Learn When Raising Boys

You can find out some interesting things when you have a son. For instance:

* A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft. house four inches deep.

* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

* A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

* It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

* When using a ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

* The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

* When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh,” it’s already too late.

* Brake fluid mixed with chlorine powder makes smoke and fire. Lots of it.

* A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

* Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

* Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

* Super glue is forever.

* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.

* Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

* VCRs do not eject peanut butter sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

* You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

* Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

* The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

* It will, however, make cats dizzy.

* Dizzy cats can throw up twice their body weight.

* 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

* 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the chorine powder and brake fluid. Especially after seeing the following video.