Joke: Things You Learn When Raising Boys
You can find out some interesting things when you have a son. For instance:
* A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft. house four inches deep.
* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
* A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
* It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
* When using a ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
* The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
* When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh,” it’s already too late.
* Brake fluid mixed with chlorine powder makes smoke and fire. Lots of it.
* A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
* Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
* Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
* Super glue is forever.
* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
* Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
* VCRs do not eject peanut butter sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
* You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
* Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
* The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
* It will, however, make cats dizzy.
* Dizzy cats can throw up twice their body weight.
* 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
* 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the chorine powder and brake fluid. Especially after seeing the following video.