Back on the Dating Scene

My friend Fred had gone through a fairly ugly divorce a few months ago, and he had decided that he was finally ready to get back on the dating scene. He asked me if I’d go with him to a local singles bar. I’m happily married, but I figured I could tag along for moral support.

The place was fairly crowded when we arrived, but we were able to get a table. I noticed a rather attractive woman standing at the bar and pointed her out to Fred. “Hey, there’s an empty seat next to her,” I said. “Why don’t you go ask if you could sit down beside her?”

Fred didn’t need a whole lot of encouragement. He walked over to her and said, “Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

The woman turned to face him. In a loud voice, she replied “GO BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT? WHAT KIND OF A GIRL DO YOU THINK I AM???”

Every eye in the bar was on Fred. Red-faced, he scurried back to our table. We sat there for a few minutes, nursing our beers as Fred tried to calm down.

Before long, though, the woman from the bar got up and came over to us. “I’m really sorry about that,” she said. “The thing is, I’m a behavioral psychologist, and I’ve been studying how people react to sudden embarrassing situations.” Fred looked up at her a moment before replying, “$300 AN HOUR? $300 AN HOUR??? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FLIPPIN’ MIND???”