We Only Use Last Names in This Company

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.

“What’s your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only… Smith, Jones, Baker… that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson or ‘sir.’ Now that we’ve got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed, “Darling, sir.”

“Okay, John, the next thing I need you to know is…”