Joke: The Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans, Pepe and Don Pedro, had been lost in the desert for weeks and were at death’s door. They stumbled along, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or even a barrel cactus. Suddenly they spied, off in the distance through the heat and haze, what looked like a tree. And where there are trees… there’s water!

As they got closer, they saw that it was indeed a tree… and it was draped with slabs upon slabs of bacon. There was smoked bacon, crispy bacon, juicy almost-raw bacon, bacon of all sorts.

“Hey, Pepe,” cried Don Pedro, “Ees a bacon tree! We are saved!”

“You’re right, amigo!” said Pepe as he went running ahead up to the tree, salivating at the prospect of food. But when he got to within five feet of the tree, the sound of machine gun fire erupted and down he went in a hail of bullets!

Don Pedro quickly dropped down on the sand and called out to his dying friend, “Pepe! Pepe! Que pasa, hombre?”

With his dying breath, Pepe called out, “Run, amigo, run! Ees not a bacon tree…

…Ees…

…Ees…

…Ees a ham bush!”