As you’ve probably heard, the miserable life of terrorist leader Qasem Soleimani came to an explosive end in January, 2020. Shortly afterward, as Soleimani was awaiting judgment before the Pearly Gates, he was approached by none other than George Washington.
“How dare you attack the defenders of freedom!” shouted Washington, as he punched Soleimani in the nose.
Soleimani stumbled backward and looked up just in time to see Patrick Henry looming over him. “You wanted to put an end to liberty, so the Americans gave you death!” Henry exclaimed before kicking Soleimani in the ribs.
James Madison strode up next, saying, “Villains like you are the reason I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!” Madison then pounded Soleimani in the head with a club.
Soleimani looked past Madison and was stunned to see a line of similar patriots ready to exact their vengeance on him. He looked up and cried out, “Oh, Lord, what is this? Why am I being abused in this manner?”
A voice boomed out, “You brought it on yourself, you idiot! I warned you that if you attacked US bases, you’d be greeted by 72 Virginians when you died. What’d you think I said???”